Sheltering in Place

Sheltering in place eventually brings us face-to-face with our own fragility – those areas of our life where we seem to smack into our most “out-of-control places” - such as impatience, self-pity, anger, perfectionism, gossiping, blaming others, prejudice, egotism, etc., etc., etc.

Growing through such places seems to require what Blackaby calls “A self—management that comes from trusting God.”  Perhaps you’ve had a manager or two whose controlling and domineering voice could be heard throughout the department.  (And while there may have been strict adherence to regulations, and an increase in productivity, it certainly did nothing to help people enjoy their work or their work environment.)  However, Blackaby does not say “self-control” but “self-management.”

A good manager knows how to bring out the best in the staff, helps people recognize their own gifts and talents so that their energies can be employed in making the best use of time, achieving the greatest productivity, and creating a true spirit of team work. That’s a great symbol for what we are called upon to do within ourselves in this on-going process of self-management.  

Who are your “staff members to self-manage?” - all the gifts and skills you have, and their opposites. Or, another view is to ask yourself if you are using your gifts too much or too little in any given situation.  For example, caring might be your strong point – and yet in the midst of this social distancing, you find yourself starting to wallow in self-pity (having a “pity-party”).  Self-pity is a warning sign that caring for yourself is out of balance!  You need to stop and do something nice for yourself – even if it’s something as simple as sitting down and putting your feet up for 10 minutes!  Then look take a look at what you already have been given, “count your blessings one by one”.  

At the other end of the spectrum of caring, is caring too much and becoming intrusive, meddlesome, gossipy, trying to run other people’s lives for them.  Oops, that’s a good example of “smothering mothering.”  What do you need to let go of to return to a better management of your gift of caring?

Try that process with anything that seems to trip you up.  What is the good quality in the middle, how are you using too little or too much of that gift? Looking at self-management opportunities in this way can become an abundant source of prayer - a simple talking it over with the Lord. “Here I am Lord – this is what I’m experiencing.  This is what I see.  This is what I don’t understand about it.  Help me work through this.”  And then just sit in the silence, and listen in the silence, trusting that you are in the presence of a loving God.

Self-management, like any skill, takes practice and yes, failing and trying again.  You probably don’t remember how many times it took as a child to learn to stand-up teeteringly, topple over and stand up again, until the earth stood still long enough for you to take those first faltering steps, one at a time into the loving arms of someone who encouraged you to do so. Is the Lord any less loving than that?  

 Blessings as you continue your journey, growing in a self-management that comes from realistically facing your “staff” and trusting in the Lord’s ever-present love for you. 

                               – Jackie F.